I remember the first time the idea of a journal was introduced to me. I was probably in the third or fourth grade. I wasn’t great at it. The teacher would always give us the first fifteen minutes of class to write in our journals; of course I didn’t write in my journal. I would much rather day dream – you know clear my thoughts for the next subject. I didn’t realize it then, but a journal captures a moment in time and can be very therapeutic.
I went through this angry phase from about seventeen to twenty one. I would explode and everyone around me would somehow be affected by my actions. I began to realize that I was hurting innocent people just because I was angry. I suddenly remembered my teacher suggesting that we write out feeling and thoughts down in a journal, so I started to write “letters” every time I was angry and then every time I was sad. There was a big relief when I wrote letters. I thought looking back and reading my feeling was cool so I decided to write in journal.
Maybe about five years ago my husband found my journal and boy did he tease me. I snatched my journal and started to read. Oh my. I read one page where I guess I broke up with some guy and I was asking god for help. This is funny because I still can’t remember who I broke up with. Another page talked about a dream that I had about my uncle before he died; scary. The very next page was a rap song that I had made up “They call me G Money & I got all the honeys”. I was so ashamed of myself reading this rap song. I had to laugh out loud. I few pages more I was talking about my relationship with my brothers, sisters, my mom and how much I missed my dad. I even tried to write poetry. I won’t quote from that poem, it was horrible.
After I was through reading my journal I realize it helped me figure out a lot of things, it helped me control my emotion. It also gave me the opportunity to be creative or not so creative. It allowed me to vent and celebrate. It reminded me about how intuitive I really am.
I no longer write in a journal, but I video tape me talking instead.
I also went through the same thing with anger around the same age period. I am 20 now and think i have done a good job for around a year now of not exploding. Me and my husband get at it sometimes about things that aren't that big of a deal, and I am still learning to control my frustration towards him and even my two year old doing standard two year old things. Not only writing, but reading also gives me a safe place where i can calm myself down.
ReplyDeleteMiranda Thomas
ReplyDeleteThat was very interesting. Its funny what you write down and than forget about what you said. I am guilty about doing that to. How fun to actaully get the opportunity to relive or re read that.
@ Kenz I think at some point in everyone's life they go through the feeling of overwhelming emotions. I'm just glad its over for me. It so hard to get me upset these days.
ReplyDelete@ Miranda..it was cool but I tell ya reading it I thought to myself I am crazy..LOL